I could strangle a baby one handed with the arm I'm getting now. I've basically been sawing huge logs all day so we can keep a fire going in my house. The reason we're using fire instead of actual heaters is because we're running out of oil due to lack of money, oh the joys of poverty. Combined with my "daily activity" and the workouts I'm already doing my right arm is becoming insane compared to my left. I really need to try and switch my hand use. Either way I can actually see a difference in strength and how my shirts fit me so I'm happy, even if I do have a case of jerker's arm. Eventually someone will be doing the jerking for me so it'll even out.
There isn't too much in terms of Amanda talk because my embargo still stands. I want to text her, but I shall hold out and wait for her to instigate...that or wait another day. Of course, keeping the embargo for this upcoming week I would think is a good idea. She seems to be really busy with school work and having someone trying to text you while you do something important is one of the most infuriating things in the world. I hate when my friends text me during something I need to do, unless of course I've got plans with them for later and I'm waiting on a response anyways. Either way, I shall continue my impersonation of the capitalist pig dogs against the dirty communist peasants.
So hopefully this upcoming weekend I'll be going to the bars actually. My friends Kyle and Steven are planning on it at least. Kyle is old enough and Steven has a fake I.D, sadly Calvin can't go because he doesn't have one and with his birthday coming up in about a month it's not really worth it. The only things I'm worried about is the money, and my approach anxiety. My money problems should be okay; I can probably get a 20 from my parents as we're getting the paycheck this week and if I really need to I'm sure Kyle and Steven can throw me money especially since they ditched out a bit early for my b-day celebrations. My girl problems are more trouble some, I have a huge fear of talking to girls, or at least making "moves"/flirting with girls. This is only going to be compounded by Kyle and Steven being there. Since my friends aren't Salt N Pepa, I can't talk about sex to girls which is typically used when escalating the situation from getting a number to sex in a bathroom. Not to mention I'm deathly afraid of embarrassing myself in front of people. I guess I'm going to just have to suck it up; "This is all a learning experience, I only have one life, I don't care what these strangers think of me, oh my god that girl has the biggest boobs I've ever seen, the more you think about it the more you won't do it".
I should also remember that I'm not there to impress anyone, I'm sure if I can fault that type of confidence in myself that I can at least talk to a girl and have her show the signs of interest that I carefully study. How can I get that confidence in myself? I have to make sure I feel comfortable in the clothes I'm wearing, I have to make sure I believe that I'm awesome, and I need to be a bit drunk. I guess that's it for me. Anyone who read this far, please know I'd appreciate any kind of tips on talking to girls through a comment, that or hit the "horse" button so I know someone read it. The more motivation, the better.
Please excuse the rant but...
ReplyDeleteFor the love of god text Amanda! I know you're hopeful but in my opinion (and I know I have little or no information/conversation history to back em up), she seems rather dismissive about your presence in her life. (i.e. the comment about seeing other people), the comment she sent to me that one night "I think he should look for other people" not all positive indicators. My theory (not much experience I know) would it not be better to be a steady, reliable presence that's able and willing to chat when she needs company(i.e "there" for her)? Maybe someone able to say "oh you're busy? I'll text you later." If anything (IMO) this text embargo could lead her to thinking you don't care about her. Which could go a few ways, notably:
A: He's not texting me... maybe he doesn't care/has given up
B: He's not texting me... what an asshole
C: He's not texting me... did I say something wrong?
D: He's not texting me... meh doesn't matter, I have lots of friends to replace him
E: He's not texting me... This makes me want him more (I doubt this is the reaction)
Part two of this rant:
You should text because:
It shows you are a consistent supportive friend
It shows you care/are interested
This will not creep her out:
As long as you're not texting hourly
As long as you're not calling her as well (which you don't)
As long as you don't act like a stalker
If you're worried about looking clingy/looking to improve how much she responds:
Try using only one medium of communication, she's never on MSN so I'd drop that one.
Instead of just saying "hey" in your texts (I know you want to drag it out) say "Hey whats up?" or "Hey how are you?" I know I'd be more likely to respond to a question, than just "hey"