My Parents and I

I think I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, if I have a problem I'll talk to them about it...they're probably third don't the list. First my friends, then my sister, then my parents. I know a lot of people including my friends don't even talk to their parents about anything. Today I got really excited, I was texting Amanda, and she was talking about how comfortable her bed was in comparison to mine and she said I should come over which was awesome to me. Not just because she wanted me over at her house, but that I was even going over to her house. See, my ex kept everything hidden, even from her parents. They don't know she's banged probably 8 guys, done a whole bunch of drugs, and failed high school. When her shit hits the fan, it'll hit hard. Anyways, I was all happy about being able to actually go over to the girls house for once, all I kept texting Amanda when we first started texting was you should come over soon, but I completely forgot that I could go over to her. I feel dumb thinking about it now.

Wow, that's quite the tangent. What was I talking about? My relationship to my parents, right. Anyways, I feel like I can talk about a lot of different problems with them, kind of personal shit sometimes. A lot of it is kind of just basic probing questions, although I ask them about their relationship and compare it to mine. This usually comes out fruitless because their whole system is just fucked up compared to what I'd want. See, my parents are high school sweethearts, so I can't exactly go up to my dad and say How do I meet/pick up girls? He's just as experienced as me. Anyways, I was talking to them about how to be charming, assuming this will attract girls. I'm raised off the internet in terms of sexual health and dating, the things at the top of all the lists are, Humor, Confidence, Charming. All of those blend into the one Casanova type hero I have yet to become. I think I have humor down and I'm just getting the hang of being confident. The only thing left on the list was Charming, so I'll go to my parents, my dad must have had something to help him get my mom and I know he's funny and confident, what makes him charming?

So I asked my mom, what is charming? She didn't quite answer me but gave me something. Women want to feel safe. That's why you see girls with all the muscle junkies and rich guys, the muscle junkies provide the feeling of physical safety, and the rich guys give the safety that only money can provide. She said, if I can make them feel safe then I'll have them.  You don't need to be a muscle bound jerk or rich to get girls, just look at your father. That made me feel good. Then I thought for a second, then I remembered something. Let me tell you about my dad. When he was getting together with my mom he had a car, he was fit, he had money, and he looked old enough to buy booze. What does that make you think of? To me, my dad was the Fonz when he was my age. I don't stand a chance, I still don't have a learners permit, I'm broke as shit (as is my family) and I'm fat. Now, I can fix all of those, but that takes some time and I'm actually taking the time to do it so suck it, but I wish my dad would have slapped me a bit and told me what I'd need to do to get what I want, knowing that what a teenage boy wants most is a girl.

When I get a son, that is what I will teach him, first to be a gentleman, or at least not a complete shithead. Second to take care of himself, physically, mentally, and monetarily. If he only has time for two, I'll give him the money. I plan to be wealthy as shit when I get older if nothing else because I've always hated being poor, months where we don't know if we can pay both the mortgage and the grocery bill. Where I can't go visit my friends because we don't have money for gas. I have to say that I love piracy, if not for piracy I would not be where I am in terms of sanity. The majority of my day is spent playing games, and I get sick of flash games pretty fast so the fact that I can download a game and play it somewhat on my shitty laptop is a blessing.

I leave with a quote from my dad about how to be charming.  
When a girl is talking to you and is telling you about stuff. Remember that stuff, they love that.