Contentness

Lately...or today at least, I found myself not being jealous. Not being envious. I wasn't anything bad, I was happy for others, proud of their achievements. I didn't want them to not have it because I didn't have it. All it did was motivate me to improve myself to achieve things as great as that later in life.

I had a pool tournament tonight, I lost just before the semi-finals to my friend Dustin. He went on to 3rd place, he won 50 bucks and a spot in the paper. I'm proud of him, it's good. I want to practice pool more and hopefully be able to get close for next year, it sounds like they have a tourney every year at least.

I went for a run yesterday, I enjoy running. It's nice, peaceful, reminiscent of the walks I usually took. The buses I take don't offer enough contemplation to satisfy me. So the run is helpful. My knee seems to be getting better, although I should start stretching a bit more before I do my runs. What I need to focus more on is the strength training and dieting. I also need Calvin to take a no-homo photo of me so I can use that as my semi-before picture. I ate a bit more tonight than I should have. I blame that on the free food and stuff at the pool tourney.

Tomorrow morning I have a test that I should have studied for, I hope I do decent on it. I think most of it will be pretty common sense and if it's not, well then shit. Tomorrow night I should be going out with some friends to the Grizz. I might see if I can make a move on a girl Chris is bringing, I might feel bad though, I'm half-dating this girl Emily at the moment. We haven't discussed the legitimacy of our relationship yet but I think I'll bring it up on Saturday when she is supposed to be coming over next. Maybe I'll see if I can't connect with her a bit more.

Despite how shallow it seems, I seem to only focus on the bad parts of Emily because I don't find her all that attractive. I hate to say that, mostly because I'm desperate at this point. I feel if I can hold onto this, keep me sane for a bit while I sort out the rest of my life instead of focusing on loneliness for awhile that I'll be able to survive. I think that being with her might actually be a good idea. She seems like a decent person, a loving person, I just need more time with her I guess. 

In other news, I've officially turned Native. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I shall hopefully be getting funding for next year, which means I'll be swimming in money and babes and cocaine. If I don't...well....OSAP it is. I'll keep you posted, I'm sending in my app's this next week.

I think I got most of the updates out of my head, nothing too introverted here. Just sort of a log of what's happened. This is a boring post, I need to write more interesting stuff later.